nanagu kannada gothappa :)

The first word that you learn when you set your foot in the sandal city: Gothilla (meaning 'I dont Know')
After 2 weeks: Kannada Gothilla pa!

After about 2 to 3 months your vocabulary to the Auto Man builds:

Left hogi
Right hogi
Stop madi

6 months? Its high time you started correlating words to your own language and start picking up the meanings. This applies to even food items that you get in the Special 'Uduppi' hotels.

For example, I learnt that 'bisi' means 'hot', while having 'Bisi Bele Bath'

Karnataka is famous for its 'bath' items in the menu card.
My resident friends or the typical Mysorean friends told me that 'Vaangi Bath' was rice made out of 'Brinjal'

Comparing, 'bisi bele bath' and 'vaangi bath' on a similar basis, I have come to the conclusion that 'Vaangi' is Kannada word for 'Brinjal'.

I decided to experiment my new learned vegetable name in the vegetable shop. Sadly, I had a 'Mysorean friend' with me.

Me: 'Ardha kg vaangi'
Translation according to me: 'Half Kg Brinjal'
Mys friend: 'What?'

I gave the analogies that I had derived.

Laughters……..

Me: Blank!!!

My friend came back to senses after the peals of loud laughter!

Bang Friend: Brinjal is 'Badhanae Kaai', and not VAANGI!!!

Next problem arises with living and non living things.

One day I told principal ‘banthu’, my friend corrected me that its not like that. For living beings we have to tell ‘banthru’. If we tell ‘banthu’, it is for non living things like auto, bus etc. One day I had to arrange an auto for the principal. Somehow auto came but principal was not yet ready. My friend came and asked:

Friend: ‘yenaytu?’

Me: Auto banthu. Principal innu banthrilla

Friend: Laugh…. Its not ‘banthrilla’ Its just bandhilla.

Me: You only told na, for living beings you have to put R.

Friend: ????

Time passed and my comfort level in Kannada increased (which also increased my blunders in Kannada)

One gal was preparing for exam. I wanted to know the exam timing.

I asked: “Eshtne gandanige exam”

Gal: ?????

Me: I mean, at what time is your exam.

Gal: Laughter….. Sir, its not “Eshtne gandanige”. It is “Esht gantege”

(I felt both as same.) Me: both are same na???

Gal: Thumba difference ide sir thumba thumba different.

One day after a movie, I called an auto from Sangam theatre.
Me to Auto man: Bogadi hogbekku
Auto: aivaturpai aagathae
Me: Meter aakki (in a loud commanding fierce tone)
Auto guy continues with something in Kannada that I didn't understand. I want to blast him back for his attrocity.

Me: Minimum 12 rs aagathae. Aenappa aivathu rupaya?? (In a more 'am ready to fight you' tone!)
Auto guy continues. I get the gist: If you want, come. Else leave (not get lost).
But then thats all the Kannada I know. So I decide to take another auto that stops right next to me. Auto started…. Not yet reached Bogadi. Meter shown 60Rs already. I knew he cheated me. I have learned that “putting meter” is not an economic way for a new comer. When auto passed Harsha bar (place near Bogadi) I gave directions.

Me: left thagolli bhaiyaa

Illae stop maadi.

One night I went to a road side canteen and ordered half rice and two boiled eggs.
Me: half rice, eradu mutte

(Rice with some black ball came. I was shocked to know in Karnataka eggs are black.)

Me: yenidu??

Server: muddhe sir

Me: Yenu????

Server: Ragi muddhe sir

Me: hello mutte chahiye baiyya, mudde kaadu.

(Still I don’t know why, that time Malayalam or Tamil didn’t come to my mouth. Telugu I have heard only in movies though.)

After that I pointed to the egg bowl, the person took two eggs from that and told. 

“Idu ‘mutte’ alla “motte mo mo”.  

I started eating with a satisfaction of learning one more word in kannada “motte mo mo”.

                         To be continued....................

Busy Persons????

Excuse me busy fellow, but why you want to put so much scene? Whenever your friends suggest to do something fun, then only you will have all sorts of work in this world. ‘Oh no, there is so much to do. I have to read, send a report, email this, print that, go to hell and come back by tomorrow morning..’ . Some nonsense reason you will give. 

One time two times is ok, always some stupid reason you give? You say you are busy with this, busy with that, but somehow you will find all the time in the world to update status messages, including your bloody latitude and longitude, in all the social networking websites. And still you act as if the whole earth is rotating on your head.

In school days only you put all the scene in the world in front the girls. (The girls bloody didn’t even look at you, that is a different story.) You were sitting under the tree with a book, even in PT period when other boys were playing hand cricket. God knows what you were studying, because you were anyway getting the same 70% marks in all the subjects.

Even today you repeat the same thing. Anyone calls you means you will not attend the call. And then after 2 days like one lord, you will call back and say ‘Sorry man, I was in a meeting that day.’ They will also reply as if nothing has happened ‘Hehe, no problem re, just called you just like that.’ 

See if you don’t want to anyone to disturb you in chat means, don’t login itself na! Or login under ‘Invisible mode’. Why you want to put “DO NOT DISTURB” as the status man? This is heights of scene. You want to show off in front of everybody that you are the only one doing work and other fellows with green dot are all jobless fools is it? Nonsense.

And worst is the other guys who always have the red dot. You are always busy is it? Who you are trying to fool? First of all, you should not login to chat itself in office, that you know? On top of that you will exhibit all sorts of stupid behaviour.

Oh and in the office the kind of scene you put. Uff man. If you stare seriously into the monitor means, nobody will know is it? Boss, everybody in this world knows you are playing Freecell. That is the only game in the world that will make you look like you are performing some complex integral calculus problems.

Either you do that or you do the other extreme. See, you are in a desk job. Why you always get up and move here and there with sleeves rolled up and pencil behind the ears? People will look at you and go, ‘Man, he is so busy. Such a hard worker’. No? Whenever somebody wants to talk to you, you act as if you are the CEO and immediately tell, ‘Oh, I have a meeting in 5 minutes. Can you please send me a calendar invite for next Wednesday? I am fully booked till then.’

I have one doubt. If you are always in meeting means when you will do your work?

Besides, what meeting meeting? Two people go into the conference room and talk means it is a meeting is it? Two people talking means it is a conversation. Three people only is a meeting. I know what you will discuss in the conference room. ‘Arey, this room is so much better. The AC outside is so bad. Let us stay here for a while.’ All the others outside will think ki you are discussing some mind blowing strategy that will change the history of the company.

Why you want to act like the CEO of the company? Even the CEO is roaming around casually, as if he is jobless. He is looking at you and wondering what so much work you have, he himself cannot understand.

Next time I see you show off, I will ask you questions such that you will want to pluck your tongue and die off. Or even better, I myself will pluck your tongue.